The Left of Centre Strategy

Based on years of experience in the private and public sectors, the LOC principals have developed a complex business strategy to help you reach your professional objectives. LOC seeks to provide service of consistently inferior quality around the world. Our full-proof propaganda breeds change like Moors in Sicily.

Full Service
In all phases of our business we respect our client's demanding schedules by avoiding them at all costs. Similarly, we help you avoid your problems by creating entertaining diversions.

Insight
LOC's unique perspective of the business world allows it to supercede most consulting formalities. For instance, we don't even need to meet with you to help you. Just send us a check and a rough idea of your problem and we will get right on it. Trust us. Really, we're the best. Hooray for us!

Networks
We will use every opportunity to expose your "cultivated relationships" for the greed based shams they truly are. You will find new friends who have more in common with you than the pursuit of a new plasma screen. LOC maintains its own network of highly unstable, depressed and angry individuals that welcomes newcomers.

Persuasion
Any company can put you in accord with the Sarbanes-Oxley requirements. Only LOC can send over two dozen belligerent monkeys to discuss the terms of your employment.

The Left of Centre Difference

Our polls suggest that individuals are most productive under intense stress and little sleep. We ensure hostile working conditions and disorganization to help you maximize worker utility. Efficiency is the name of the game, and your business cannot afford satisfied employees.